Application for Permission to Date My Daughter
Note: This application will be considered incomplete and and will be rejected unless it is accompanied by
a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
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Name:
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Date of Birth:
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Height:
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Weight:
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I.Q.
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Drivers License #
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Social Security #
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Highest Boy Scout Rank:
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Home Address:
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If you have two parents, do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?
If no, explain:
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Number of years parents married:
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Do you possess: A van?
A truck with oversize tires? A waterbed?
A tattoo? A ring in any body part?
A yes answer requires that you discontinue filling out this form and depart the premises now!
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In ten words or less, what does "Late" mean to you?
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In ten words or less, what does "Don't touch my daughter" mean to you?
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In two words or less, what does "Abstinence" mean to you?
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Church you attend:
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Frequency of attendance?
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When is the most convenient time to interview your parents and minister?
Answer the following: (Please answer freely, your answers are confidential. That means I won't tell anyone, ever. I promise!)
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If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded would be:
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If I were beaten, the last bone I would want to be broken would be:
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A womans place is in the:
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The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask me is:
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When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice first about her is:
Note: If answer begins with the letters "T" or "A", leave the premises immediately. (Keeping low, dodging, and moving fast are advised)
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What I want to be IF I grow up:
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DISMEMBERMENT, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, REDHOT POKERS, AND DEATH.
SIGNATURE: (That means sign your name moron)
Thank you for your interest in my daughter. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be notified in writing if you are approved. Do not call or write. When your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (you might want to watch your back).
Click Here for a printable version (without the links below)
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